wishful entropy

I wish I could think
but I can’t think
because when I think
you’re there
but you’re not there
and I think
of when you were there
and there was here
where I am
that I wish I could
stop thinking

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Even so


do you want me to tire of you first?

shall I hurt you before I leave you

or will you take that responsibility?

when you hold my hand

will your thoughts be of your next love

or shall I dream of the girl I haven’t met?

Will you forget my name by the time you get home?

Is it easier knowing the words I say

are no more than the air they are carried on,

dissipating before they even reach your ears?

Even so, warm bodies and cold hearts

still make for a pleasant evening.

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There is no final straw heavy enough

slap me

and I will smile knowing I deserved it

ignore me

and I will wait for your attention

leave me

and I will wait for your return

betray me

and I will forgive you

pluck out my eyes

and I will follow your voice

deafen my ears

and I will follow your scent

ravage my nose

and I will reach for you

cut off my hands

and I will call to you

cut out my tongue

and I will cling to your warmth

pierce my heart

and I will bleed my last drop for you

This is why I must leave you

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Wild Blueberries

The bobwhites call to me,

inviting me to share their bounty,

to the weed grown fence line

so far from the house,

where wild blueberries wait.

My tiny, greedy hands pluck and pluck.

The fruit bursts on my tongue

with a sweetness only your lips can rival.

A stray nail catches my skin and draws blood.

Grandmother bandages my wound

and with gently curled fingers

dries my tears,

the way I sweep the tear from your cheek now.

Why are you in my memory

of a woman you have never met?

Because all that I was

all that I am,

all that I will ever be

is yours.

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sweet memory

Your sigh like a breeze fills the air

your fingers twist into my hair

passion’s sweat slickens thighs

as insistent rhythms synchronize

surrender’s song is sung

tooth scrapes tongue

tongue grazes lip

hip bruises hip

and a moment of sweet agony

stretches through time

to become today’s sweet memory

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yours forever

hot summer night

I explore your patchouli and rose scented valley

the musk of your forest surrounds me

as I drink from your river

Your water bathes my tongue

ignites my blood

and intoxicates my mind

binding me to you



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this kind of love

Are there different kinds of love?

I say there are

The love of a mother for a child

child for a puppy

a dog for a master

a husband for a wife

a lover for a lover

me for you

I loved you with the kind of love

that, should my existence suddenly end,

would leave my soul satisfied.

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La Mort d’Amour


The fear of loneliness


When loneliness is preferable.


Loneliness I find truth.


Life can only be lived alone,


Breaking. Lonely ’til the end.

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the end that never ends


in limbo

Everything I’m made of

is dry and thin and brittle

like paper, too long in the sun

I am held together

with tape and hope

Can you see the way I crumple

in your lightest breeze

where, once, I could withstand

the full onslaught of your storm?

Can you see the way my edges crumble

at your slightest touch

where, once, I thrilled

to be crushed by your embrace?

Can you see me

or just the fading history

that is written on me?

I am still here

In limbo



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no one


wasting my life
in search of
the one
too late
did I realize
the only one


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